Fuck Confessions Review

Intro promises

“Up close and personal porn interviews — we hire them, make them tell their dirtiest secrets and then we fuck their brains out.”

First impression

You never really get to know the models who are performing for your titillation on the average porn site — most of the time you just get to see them on their backs. Not so with Fuck Confessions, where the women have their brains picked before they get fucked senseless. You see, each video on Fuck Confessions begins with an exhaustive interview that seeks to learn the models’ innermost secrets... and then they get fucked senseless. Okay, so it’s not the most original idea ever (especially when you take into consideration that ninety percent of all gonzo films utilize this same exact premise), but it was the best thing the makers of Fuck Confessions would come up with.

Pricing

Our opinion

Fuck Confessions is a fairly easy site to navigate as it only contains a mere six pages of content, all of which are linked to the main members area. Fuck Confessions hasn’t been updated since July of 2005 and contains just twenty-nine videos along with a few hundred truly horrible screen caps. The videos are cut up into ten clips or can be downloaded as a full movie. All the clips come in two formats: high quality MPEG or low quality WMV. It’s ironic that the makers of Fuck Confessions call their MPEGs “high quality” cos none of these videos could ever be confused for being “high quality.”
The WMVs are 320x240 and 464 kbps. The MPGs are 352x240 and 10 MB per minute.

Put simply, the videos on Fuck Confessions, which are grainy and poorly lit, look like garbage. There’s fuzz at the top of each clip and you often can’t see a goddamned thing when you’re watching ‘em. Even the footage that was shot outside during the day is badly lit! How did they manage to do that?! Also, I noticed that many of the videos don’t even contain actual interviews with the women, just a few minutes of idle chit-chat before the girls are set to shoot their scenes. Sadly, you don’t learn any “dirty secrets” from these gals as promised in the site’s tour — so much for the confessions. I honestly can’t tell if the content on Fuck Confessions is even exclusive to Fuck Confessions — I get the feeling that all of this stuff was taken from a series of porn flicks that were poorly directed by the same guy or something. Most of these videos definitely look like they were dubbed from an incredibly bad third generation videotape...

Thankfully, you get access to eleven bonus sites with your membership to Fuck Confessions, including Sex Tour, Dude’s Lucky Day, She Likes It Big and HomeCumers.com, Fuck Confession’s sister site. Unlike Fuck Confessions, most of these additional sites are updated weekly and contain a ton of exclusive content. Also unlike Fuck Confessions, you might find yourself actually jacking off to some of these bonus sites — in a bittersweet twist of fate, the bonus sites you get access to with your membership to Fuck Confessions are actually much, much better than the site you just paid for. Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

Conclusion

I must confess that Fuck Confessions sucks. The site was last updated a full month before Hurricane Katrina ravaged the Gulf Coast region of the United States and the few videos that are on it look like shit. I could go and on about how bad this site is, but I may as well spare you the gory details and quit while I’m ahead. I’ll just say that if you’re actually willing to pay thirty bucks a month for access to this site, then I’ve got a really nice house to sell you in the Ninth Ward of New Orleans, LA... You’ll love it — it’s right on the water!

Screenshots from Fuck Confessions

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